Still, quietness of the Dawn

Lately I have been waking up early to finish homework and have witnessed the beauty of a new morning dawning. 

There is the peace in this dorm that is typically bustling with life. 

During the day, community is so present that laughing and talking never fully cease. 

But, in the still of the morning there is a quietness that warms my heart. 

The thought that the lovely ladies on my floor that I have grown to love and love more with each day are peacefully slumbering in their beds. Resting their bodies, weary from a day full of striving to serve the Lord in all they do, in preparation for a new day.

There is a holiness in the quietness of my dorm that exists in few places: 

In the quiet of a sanctuary, empty save for yourself. 

In the quiet rhythms of nature, humming worship for the Creator.

And here in the place I have grown to call home 

Among the women I am honored to call my sisters.

Light is sweet; how pleasant to see a new day dawning.

Ecclesiastes 11:7

Yoke.

Today at chapel we learned about Matthew 11:28-30:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, 

and I will give you rest. 

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, 

for I am gentle and humble in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I grew up in the church so I was familiar with this verse and have heard it talk about often. Yet somehow until today I had missed the real meaning of the verse. 

Here is what I thought about it up until today. I will come to God and he will fit me with a yoke which I will somehow be able to pull despite how heavy it is... and in that I will find rest. It didn't really make sense to me that I would be bearing this burden alone, but I would be happy about it. In my mind it work out because God knows me well enough to know my strength so instead of me starting off pulling 200 pounds, He would start me with 20 and work my way up.

Now, none of that is technically wrong, I was just missing a huge piece of the puzzle. 

This was simply because I had never seen what a yoke looked like. 

So look for yourself and see what I was missing:

A yoke is meant to be used by a pair.

When God invites me to come to Him and take His yoke upon me, He is asking me to come alongside Him.

The creator of the universe, the man who knows the grains of sands that line the beaches and the blades of grass that cover our fields, it beckoning me to come alongside Him.

This thought makes my heart swell. 

He wants to share my burdens. To pull them with me.

A life in Christ isn't about taking on the impossible alone in order to glorify God.

It is about doing the impossible with Him because then the glory does not come in the completion of the task alone, but also in the process of completing it. 

The glory comes in the sharing of the burden. In the learning for the One who knows all. 

Now, that picture of a yoke is beautiful. 

Christ-like Love

Today I have been really sick. I went through an entire box of tissues. My eyes won't stop watering and my nose won't stop running. In other words I have been miserable.

Desperate for some relieve I posted a status on Facebook asking someone to come to my rescue, and sure enough, someone did: Bonnie Evans.

She is an angel. She drove a half hour from home at 10 o'clock at night to bring some medicine and 3 boxes of tissues to a stranded and sick college student.

This small demonstration of love means the world to me. 
I am already feeling better, and not just because I finally got some medicine in me, but because her love has warmed my heart.

I pray that some day I have the opportunity to pay it forward and love someone the way I was loved tonight.

Two thoughts on my heart.

1. 
Me: "God, why did you give me something so good, just to take it away..."
God:"Because I have something far  better in store for you"

I wouldn't see how great it was if He hadn't taken away the first thing.

So... being patient.

2.
My dad talked to me today about how we should pray as Jesus did, "Not my will, but your will be done."

But too often we get it mixed up and pray "Not your will, but my will be done."

I put these two thoughts together because they go hand in hand. 

all.

Jesus gave it all.

Until tonight every time I heard that phrase I would think of the crucifixion and how the Son of God gave it all in His death on the cross.

He died for me.
That alone leaves me emotional, but let think a little deeper.

What else did Jesus give up for us? And for those who may still deny Him.
He gave up his life too. His days and nights, his hopes and dreams.
He gave up getting married and having a family of his own.

From the moment he came to earth he did God's Will for His life, not His own.


I can remember saying to God before: "This is my life. I get to decide."
Wrong.
This life isn't about me. It is about bring a deserving God honor and praise.

So am I ready to give my all for Jesus?
Of course I would die for Him, but will I live for Him too?

Misguided Ghosts.

Probably my favorite Paramore song. Not just because of  it's raw acoustic sound, but because of it's raw emotion. 

Distance is good for the heart. 

It helps us see the world through a clearer lens.

No longer are views blurred by emotion or habit.

Mistakes aren't the end to all things good, but rather the beginning to better things yet to come.

It is cliche.

Mistakes. 

They're beautiful in a way.

Think back, remember what you consider to be your biggest mistake, the day you wish you could change. 

The memory of that day is unstable and empty. The ground seems to crumble beneath your feet. The terrain is barren. Trees empty of leaves. 

The air is cold, but you don't feel it because you are numb.

Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am in distress. 

      Tears blur my eyes. 

      My body and soul are withering away. 

 I am dying from grief; 

      my years are shortened by sadness. 

   Sin has drained my strength; 

      I am wasting away from within. 

But I am trusting you, O LORD, 

      saying, “You are my God!” 

 My future is in your hands. 

      Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. 

 Let your favor shine on your servant. 

      In your unfailing love, rescue me. 

(Psalm 31: 9-10, 14-16)

Simply, your past may be a desert, but your future can be an orchard.

Life is not a destination, it is a journey. 

I am learning how beautiful that statement is. 

I can't wait to see where it takes me.

Where God leads me.